Wordless Wednesday

I am not a photographer, nor do I have a nice camera.  But, this is absolutely THE cutest kitty picture of all time (taken on my iPhone).

Bear and Tiger

Adoptive Parents Whose Children are Experiencing Emotional Illness

What we would like you to know (geared towards providers of mental health services):

1.  We are doing the best we can.  This is really hard painful work.  It is hard to see our children suffering so, and not able to understand the world like most people do.

2.  No parent wants their child to be emotionally ill.

3.  We are experts on our children.  We know them very well.  Listen to us.

4.  Don't promise us things you can't provide, or promise us that others will provide them.

5.  It is hard to tell our story to the outside world.  Be gentle with us.

6.  We are grieving for lost hopes, dreams and ideals which haven't or won't be reached.

7.  We are tired and sleep deprived.  We are exhausted.

8.  We are isolated.  There aren't many people who understand, and if they do, they are tired too.

9.  Don't ask us to tell our story in front of our children.

10.  We carry a huge burden as the reporter of what is happening with our child.  After all, there is no blood test for mental illness.

11.  If you say you will call us, call us back.  If we leave a message, call us back.

12.  When you have exhausted all your resources, there is still one left.  It is US.

13.  We will often compromise more than we should.

14.  We are competent, and if we become really competent with our child, it is what experience has given us. We still need you just as much.  Don't punish us because we have gotten so experienced at caring for our children and think we don't need you just as much.

15.  Don't finish our thoughts and sentences.  Don't assume you know what we feel.  Please take the time to ask us and let us talk.

16.  Don't forget that this makes us incredibly sad.  We are grieving and some days we feel very raw with emotions.

17.  Experiences like raising an emotionally disturbed child means we find out who our real friends and supports are.  It means we often have to grieve the loss of someone who we thought was there to support us.

18.  Boundaries - we'll keep ours if you keep yours.

19.  We do battle to meet the needs of our kids, please don't put us in the position to battle you.

20.  You can tell us how hard our job is, but don't tell us to quit.  We are not giving back or giving up on our children.  They have already lost at least one family, their birth family, and we are not going to repeat that experience for them.

*Courtesy of www.nysccc.org

Recipe: Peanut Butter Balls

Here is a recipe for a quick & healthy snack that your children are sure to love!

Peanut Butter Balls

Use equal parts of the following ingredients (I use 2 cups of each):

Peanut Butter

Honey

Oats (quick oats are smaller pieces, old fashioned oats work as well)

Powdered milk (you can use nonfat or whole)   

Mix ingredients (I use my hands and if you wear non-latex type gloves, it cuts down on the stickiness).
Roll into balls and place on cookie sheet. Refrigerate. Enjoy!

Pay Me A Break

I go to the salon every six weeks to get my hair cut and colored.  I have been going to the same hairdresser for 17 years so she is much more than just my hairdresser.  She is also a great friend.

I am extremely cost conscience, always looking for ways to save money. While I could buy a box of hair dye and do it myself to save money, this is one area I refuse to cut back in. This is my 2 hours of "me time" every six weeks.  I consider it as paying myself to take a break. I get to sit for 2 hours while someone else does something for me. No one calling, "Mommy!" or asking anything of me. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my family and would be completely lost without them.  I also think we, as moms, sometimes forget to take care of ourselves.

When I leave the salon I am happy to return home refreshed, both physically and mentally.  So, for me, the cost is well worth it.

Is there an area you choose to "pay yourself a break"?

Ocean Diorama

We are studying "the ocean" as our theme for this month.  I am all about creating as many hands-on activities for the kids to engage all of their senses.  So I thought a good way for the children to learn about what lives in the ocean was to build our own.  We started with a shoe box we had left over.

           

The kids painted the water using glitter glue (because that is what I had available).  I thought it turned out well and looked "authentic".

The kids painted glue on the bottom of the box, then we poured sand for the ocean floor.

To finish it we found pictures from the internet of various ocean animals: great white shark, hammerhead shark, jellyfish, octopus, sea turtle, coral reef, and starfish then hung them from strings of various lengths.  We even had a killer whale jumping through the top of the box.  We made ocean plants from bent green pipe cleaners. 

Have you created something similar?   I'd love to hear about it!

Fun with Flubber

This is really what I had in mind when we first decided to homeschool this year.  Have plans, but if an idea comes up, go with it.  Be flexible.  Have fun.  Experience.  And that is what we did.


We watched the movie Flubber and then decided to make our own.

Flubber Recipe

Mix thoroughly

• 1 1/2 cups very warm water
• 2 cups Elmer's glue (not school glue)
• food coloring (optional, as could stain clothing and skin)

In a separate bowl, mix thoroughly:

• 1 1/3 cups very warm water
• 2 level teaspoons Borax

Mix the contents of the two bowls together kneading until it is fully combined. Discard any remaining liquid.  Store the mixture in a Ziploc baggie for weeks of fun (& I personally felt it was less messy than play-doh).  Beware though, it will stick to hair, clothes, etc.  I used Goo-Gone to remove it easily.

This was fun for the whole family!

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

This is my older daughter's favorite poem.  I can see why.  Our family has also traveled (several) paths not taken by most.  From the adoption (via foster care) of our four youngest children, to both my husband and I home raising our children, and now with our decision to homeschool our younger children.  I believe everyone should decide for themselves what is the best for them and not live in fear of what other people may think.  We only have one life to live and we should make the most of it.

Parenting Children with Health Issues

Friday, September 9, 2011

8:30am - 4:30pm

Sutter Medical Plaza - 1625 Stockton Blvd., Sacramento CA  95816

Guest Speakers:  

Dr. Foster Cline, Child Psychiatrist and Co-founder of the Love and Logic Institute, will address handling refusals to take medication, strategies for preventing arguments and avoiding power struggles, promoting responsibility without nagging or lecturing and enabling children to make good self care decisions.   

Lisa Greene, Co-author of Parenting Children with Health Issues is a parent of two children with cystic fibrosis who will speak on her professional and personal experience with this topic.  

Class is open to parents, caregivers and clinicians working with children with chronic health issues. 

Breakfast, lunch and class materials are included.
Sponsored by Sutter Health and Electromed.  

Register at: comptong@sutterhealth.org, or call (916) 733-7013.
Registration fee $20.00

"Event-full" Week

We had a very busy week with many first-time events. Last weekend we rode the train through Old Sacramento. We were easy to spot because our little ones were sporting their noise-reducing headphones. Only one of the children didn't feel too well by the end of ride from all of the movement.




Then my hubby had a fun outing with 2 of our children playing miniature golf. And of course, they couldn't leave without driving the go-carts.

After church on Sunday we braved eating out (yes, INSIDE a restaurant). I just may be too embarrassed to return because of the considerable mess we left behind.

Tuesday we hosted a potluck dinner for our Adoption Support Group families. Normally it is only the parents in attendance, but we thought it would be a good idea for the children to form relationships as well.

We'd been waiting (& counting down the days) all month as I had it marked on the calendar...July 21st, "State Fair". This was an outing I was actually dreading. The kids surprised me though!

We learned fire safety from Smokey the Bear. The "Big Bug" exhibit, although awesome, was too overwhelming for the little ones so we just kept moving. I would say the livestock area was the family favorite. Goats, cows, and pigs in various stages of gestation.





All of the children enjoyed some rides as well. It's not say we didn't have any meltdowns, but it was manageable and we didn't push our luck. I actually think the children could have outlasted me!

     

The first step

Well, I have been saying "someday" I would start a blog.  You guessed it!  Today I took the first step.  I have to start small.  So, for now, I have a name.  Diverging Lives.  Why did I choose that name?  The definitions of diverging are: 1. to move, lie, or extend in different directions from a common point; branch off.  2. to differ in opinion, character, form, etc.; deviate.  4. to turn aside or deviate, as from a path, practice, or plan.
Well, in a nutshell, that pretty much describes our lives.  This year we decided to home school our younger children, who are adopted and have varying special needs.  It seems like we do everything "off the beaten path", but that's okay with me.